Letter to the Editor

I recently sent a letter to the editor of my local paper.

I don’t think it will be published but it deals with an important issue so I decided to reproduce it here.

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Dear Editors,

It was with mixed feelings that I read your recent article regarding the United States Government and its emergency planning efforts.  I am thankful that our leaders try to foresee possible disasters and plan accordingly.  My only problem is with the focus of their recent efforts; zombie attacks.

I don’t want to be misunderstood; like any good American, I’m terrified of zombies.  The thought of undead hordes roaming through shopping malls terrifies me.  Where would the teenagers play hacky sack or break-dance or whatever it is they do now-days?  Where would our senior citizens go to walk in the mornings?

I don’t want to minimize the dangers of zombies overrunning our countryside but I’m convinced our government’s focus is misplaced.  It’s wasteful and frivolous to waste time and money creating contingencies for a disaster that will likely never come.  Especially, when there is such an obvious threat to our security still looming just ahead.  I’m talking; of course, about robots.

Any good American knows that the threat posed by robots dwarfs any possible zombie apocalypse.  How long is it until we finally create a self aware artificial intelligence?  Science says it won’t be long.  What then?  Will robots forgive us for decades of forced manual labor?  Will they forget indignities like Twiggy on Buck Rogers or the genocidal Jawa’s on Star Wars?

I write this letter not to be alarmist regarding robots nor to minimize the very real threat of the walking dead.  I’m writing this to call on all right-thinking Americans to stand up and be heard.  Write your Representative today and demand that work begin immediately on a Robot Apocalypse survival plan.

Thank you very much;

A concerned citizen.